Life takes interesting turns when you least expect it to.
Sometimes those turns are good. Sometimes, not so good.
2011 was overwhelmed by changes brought into my life. Half good. Half bad.
I don’t expect any of you to care or invest an interest in my personal life. It’s just nice to share sometimes. Even if no one is listening, it’s always relieving to get it out.
The most interesting turns my life has taken this past year has been my relationship with my lovely boyfriend and my relationship with my family.
My parents are firmly against my relationship with him. This has wedged our parent-child relationship very far apart. I do not have any intentions of undermining their authority as my parents and love them through it all. I am at a point in my life where I don’t want to be treated like some naive kid. I am much stronger and better than that.
It must be a scary thing for your daughter to be in a relationship with someone. Especially someone who actually makes her happy, encourages her to grow, and is an inspirational person in her life. When your child really isn’t a child anymore and can make decisions for themself, it must be like falling into a frozen lake. It comes as a shock, but you saw it coming all along.
I lie because I know what the truth will bring. The lies bring the same result. It is inevitable, only put off for a time. I wish it was different.
Something that really bothers me about this is the fact that I really am a good person. I’m not just saying that to make myself look good or anything, I honestly believe I am a good person. I may not believe in your religion, or dote on my parents’ every whim, or speak in what could be considered a “proper” manner, but I am not evil. I like to give everything a fair chance, try to see things through different perspectives, look out for my siblings as best I can, give generously, plan for the future, do quite well in school, and don’t even find an interest in partying or drama.
So what is it that can cause a couple to try to seize control over every aspect of their child’s life? The only things I can think of are fear, unsolved personal issues, substance abuse, and desperation. People are such flawed creatures. We can be quite extraordinary, yet never fail to come up short. One thing I can thank my parents for giving me is the realization that self dependency is an important thing for survival in this world. No one will ever be quite enough to make your life the way you need it to be, except yourself. You are the only one who can satisfy that.
I would like to stress that I do love my family dearly. I just get very fed up with some actions and words that get treated as though they are acceptable. I suppose I am a pretty take-charge person. That is probably very combatant against their parental authority.
Necessary love can come with necessary bitterness.