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Posts tagged Weekly Whack

Weekly Whack 10-10-11



Weekly Whack 10 10 11 Weekly Whack Jay Z Douglas Palermo 10
“I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

9
This will be the last installment of the Weekly Whack… and my last contribution to this web site.

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I feel wholly disconnected creatively, intellectually, and spiritually from the rest of the content on this site and, frankly, at times I’ve felt embarrassed to be associated with it.  Not trying to judge people, just being honest.

7
I don’t feel like struggling to make this site or the people that contribute to it more acceptable to me, and I don’t find it worth it to make myself more acceptable to this site or the people who contribute to it.  Moving on is the best course.  This is business, not personal.

6
The older I get the more I clarify what it is that I am on this planet to do and who will best assist me in accomplishing my goals.  This site or the people on it no longer fulfill that purpose for me.  Nothing personal, they are still great friends, but they no longer help me go into the direction I need to go as an artist, teacher, or human.

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This is not a whim.  This has been a long time coming.

4
I am the ‘somebody’ the opening quote is referring to.  I no longer want to waste any time being the person I was in the past in order to not disappoint friends.  I want to fully be who I am now.  Nobody knows that person expect me.

3

2
Overrated:  What people want me to do.

Underrated:  What I want to do.

Rated Correctly:  What I need to do.

1
I love you.  I am sorry.  Please forgive me.  Thank you.

,

Weekly Whack 9-26-11



Weekly Whack 9 26 11 Woody Allen Weekly Whack The Wire The Enforcer tennis South Jersey Rashidi Brown potato chips Philadelphia Eagles New York Giants Montcliar Khalif Herbin Kansas City Chiefs high school football Everyone Says I Love You Earth Douglas Palermo Dirty Harry Breaking Bad Blink 182 Alzheimers 7 11 10
“She wants to play lumberjack, she’s going to have to learn to handle her end of the log.”

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Khalif Herbin of Montclair is one of the most exciting athletes I’ve seen play high school football… and I have seen A LOT of exciting athletes play high school football.  He is the Rashidi Brown of the quarterback position.  I can think of no higher compliment.

8
What’s up with the ‘Read More’ buttons on this page?  People are supposed to determine if they want to read my piece based solely on whatever obscure movie quote I choose to lead off with?  That’s lame.  People are more inclined to scroll than to click.

7
Hanging out with a bunch of old people with Alzheimer’s is always a surreal experience, but it is even more of a surreal experience when Woody Allen’s ‘Everyone Says I Love You’ is playing on a TV nearby.

6
‘Breaking Bad’ is finally on Netflix.  Many people put that show right up there with ‘The Wire’ and I even heard some very reputable people put it above it.  That’s hard to imagine, but I look forward to finding out on my own.

5
A cashier at 7-11 was trying to get me to buy the reduced price potato chips that come with the sandwich I purchased, so he jokingly told me they were imported.  Playing along, I asked him where they were imported from.  He said somewhere in South Jersey.  I laughed and said that South Jersey definitely is a foreign country.  He laughed back and agreed.  Good times.

4
I think I’m finally old enough to start appreciating the band Blink-182.  I don’t know what that says about me, or them.

3
If this doesn’t put things in perspective, I don’t know what will.

2
Overrated:  Philadelphia Eagles

Underrated:  New York Giants

Rated Correctly:  Kansas City Chiefs

1
Game, set, match.

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Weekly Whack 9-19-11



Weekly Whack 9 19 11 Weekly Whack Wall Street Tim Tebow supreme mathematics supreme alphabet protests Orange High School New Orleans marching bands Kyle Orton Joe Rogan Experience Joe Rogan hooded sweatshirts funeral Duncan Trussell Douglas Palermo Colmans Mustard Chris Christie Barneys Version 5% Nation 10
“…You really do wear your heart on your sleeve.  Now put it away, it’s disgusting to look at.”

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I had the honor of meeting New Jersey Governor Chris Christie this past weekend.  I shook his hand and told him that I am a teacher and a supporter, and that he should keep up the good work.  He firmly shook my hand, and thanked my graciously.

8
According to my father, Colman’s Mustard is the best mustard available.  He is an authority on mustard, so I recommend you listen to him.

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You see those kids protesting on Wall Street recently?  They pretty much represent all I dislike about people in their late-teens/early-twenties.  They actually compared themselves to the people protesting in Egypt and Libya.  Disgusting.

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Joe Rogan consistently puts out the best podcast available, but he takes it to the next level when he has Duncan Trussell as a guest.  Serious God Knowledge.

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When I die I want a full New Orleans funeral where my casket is carried down the street with a marching band playing behind it… preferably the Orange High School marching band.  Just putting it out there.

4
I’m very happy that we’re getting to the time of year where I can wear hooded sweatshirts.

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And now for today’s lesson:

 

2
Overrated:  Tim Tebow

Underrated:  Tim Tebow

Rated Correctly:  Kyle Orton

1
Buckle up, bitches!

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Weekly Whack 9-5-11



Weekly Whack 9 5 11 Weekly Whack Red State Red Dawn professional football Lost Kevin Smith John McEnroe James Izzo internet porn high school football HBO Douglas Palermo college football 10
“I was hard on you when you was growin’ up. I did things that made you hate me. Now, you can see why I did. I don’t want no more tears shed for me, ya hear? I’m not gonna be there for you now, you gotta look out for each other…”

9
Sometimes those who hear the music still think the dancer mad.

8
Heard one of my best friends growing up died.  He accomplished more with no hands than I ever did with two.  He played the trombone, practiced karate, programmed computers, recorded music, and was a pretty darn good receiver and tackler whenever we played football. Rest in power, brother.

7
Dude also introduced me to internet porn.  He was a sysop (system operator) of his own BBS (bulletin board system) that he ran off his Commodore Amiga back in the late 80’s/early 90’s.  I would go over his house everyday and watch him explore the infancy of the Internet.  I remember the first picture took about an entire day to download with a dial-up modem.  It was worth it.

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Red State was a fucking brilliant movie.  Ya still got it, Kevin Smith!

5
My life seems slightly incomplete without having an hour-long television drama to look forward to watching each week.  Never thought I’d say it, but I miss ‘Lost’.

4
I would have loved to hang out with John McEnroe in his prime.  That had it to be pretty awesome.

3
This had a huge impact over my psyche as a child:

Epic is an overused word, but that was epic.

2
Overrated:  College Football

Underrated:  High School Football

Rated Correctly:  Professional Football

1
Let it turn into something else.   Let it turn into something else.

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Weekly Whack 8-22-11



Weekly Whack 8 22 11 Weekly Whack pecan pie Numberwang LLWS libraries Iceland George Washington Douglas Palermo chess bubble tea bowling Bjork Beautiful Mind baseball Asian 10
“My quest has taken me through the physical, the metaphysical, the delusional, and back…”

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I’ve had my fill of bubble tea.  It was a neat gimmick at first, but now that I’ve tried all the flavors I would like multiple times, I no longer feel a need for bubble tea.

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Everything is going to turn out fine… but if it doesn’t, it’s probably your fault.

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I assume all people living in Iceland are bat-shit crazy because of Bjork.  I’m not saying Bjork caused all the people living in Iceland to become bat-shit crazy, but because Bjork is bat-shit crazy, I assume everyone else in Iceland is as well.  But they do like chess there, so the country can’t be all bad.

6
If you like good, fundamentally-sound baseball AND chubby Asian kids, then you should be watching the Little League World Series.

5
All that libraries need are internet-accessible computers, public restrooms, and plenty of newspapers and periodicals.  Everything else is just taking up space.

4
I don’t think this video is very historically accurate:

But it’s a good watch, nonetheless.

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Step Two:  Mix three eggs in a bowl.

2
Overrated:  Lawn Bowling

Underrated:  Candlepin Bowling

Rated Correctly:  Bowling

1
That’s Numberwang!

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Weekly Whack 8-15-11



Weekly Whack 8 15 11 Weekly Whack Tiger Woods The Natural Pennsylvania Pardon the Interruption Nick Nolte LLWS Joe Rogan guns gambling First and Ten fireworks ESPN Douglas Palermo doctors Civil War bulletin boards Blue Chips Around the Horn

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“You know, I believe we have two lives.  The life we learn with and the life we live with after that.”

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I like that my doctor is a Civil War buff, but I guess I would be better off if my doctor was a ‘keeping me healthy’ buff.

8
I’ve been watching the Little League World Series lately.  It is definitely one of my favorite sporting events.  The other night I was watching a game and a team was down by one run in the last inning and they had two runners on base with two outs.  If they got one more out then their summer would be over.  The kid at bat hit a triple and drove in the tying and go-ahead runs.  By the time he reached third base, the kid was so happy that all he could do was cry.  It was awesome.

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Tiger Woods is getting what was coming to him.  Eventually we all will.

6
In less than an hour drive to Pennsylvania, I can shoot guns, play roulette, buy fireworks, and get a ‘massage.’  I should take advantage of that more often.

5
I tend to be a pretty unassuming, modest guy.  But there are some things that I know I’m good at, and I’m not about to pretend otherwise.  Putting up a bulletin board is one of those things.

4
Nine hundred million Chinamen couldn’t care less about this YouTube link:

But it just may be the greatest movie speech of all time… and still very timely.

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Step One:  Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

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Overrated:  Around the Horn

Underrated:  First and Ten

Rated Correctly:  Pardon the Interruption

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You crazy, Joe Rogan!

Cooking, Humor, Irony, Life, Satire, Uncategorized, Video    , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Weekly Whack 8-8-11



Weekly Whack 8 8 11 Weekly Whack Tiger Woods Step Brothers Sonya Thomas Ron Paul rite aid NYC parks negative ions Nagasaki masturbation hot dogs hoes Gene Krupa Douglas Palermo bracelets boats acne

10
“Dad, we’re men. That means a few things – we like to shit with the door open, we talk about pussy, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That’s what we do, and now that is all wrecked.”

9
A girl working at the Rite Aid in my neighborhood has a pretty bad acne problem.  There’s no excuse for that.  You work at Rite Aid.  There are literally dozens of products there to help you clear up your complexion.  Get on that.  Don’t you want a role in my masturbatory fantasies like your attractively unhappy Indian co-worker?  Well, while I’m buying the hand cream from aisle three, you should be buying the facial cleanser in aisle four.

8
I’ve noticed that I only voluntarily watch the news when I’m in a hotel room.  I still haven’t quite figured out why.  Maybe I need a vacation from my normal television viewing habits as well.  But I normally hate watching the news.  Weird.

7
This Tuesday (August 9th) is the anniversary of the dropping of the atomic bomb on the Japanese city of Nagasaki.  The biggest tragedy of this is that now when people think of Nagasaki, all they think about is the atomic bomb.  What has become forgotten is the song, ‘Nagasaki’, Gene Krupa’s classic scat masterpiece from the 1930’s.  Take a listen, and tell me it’s not cooler than a 100,000 people being vaporized in an instant:

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I recommend wearing a negative ion producing/magnetic field generating bracelet.  There are a lot on the market nowadays, and they are becoming increasingly popular among professional athletes.  It could be completely placebo-effect, but ever since I started wearing one regularly, I have found my level of anxiety decreasing over time.  A large part of our current Earth changes has to do with magnetic fields getting out of whack, so you might as well start taking matters into your own hands.

5
Tiger Woods kind of seems like a dick to me.  I don’t think I would enjoy hanging out with him.

4
Anyone who has ever thought that a woman eating a hot dog is sexy has obviously never seen Sonya Thomas eat a hot dog.

3
I strongly believe that if American voters were able to get an opportunity to truly learn who Ron Paul is and what he is all about, then he would have no problem becoming our next president.  Unfortunately the media would never allow that to happen.  The fix has always been in.

2
Overrated:  Central Park

Underrated:  City Hall Park

Rated Correctly:  Washington Square Park

1
Boats and hoes!

Cosmology, Gender, Humor, Movies, Politics, Secret Teaching, Sexuality, Spirituality    , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

WEEKLY WHACK 8-1-11



WEEKLY WHACK 8 1 11 Winehouse Weekly Whack Water Tom Chambers Subway Seltzer Rockaway Mall NBA Morrison Joplin Hendrix Godfather 3 Douglas Palermo Debt Ceiling David Stern Cobain Borders Alan Watts Adventures of Power 27 Club 10
“Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in.”

9
I bought what was perhaps my last book at Borders today.  Due to changing times, the large book chain is going out of business and liquidating all of its stock.  That’s too bad.  I learned more from reading books I bought at Borders than any school or college I attended.  Sure, you can get any book you want on the Internet now, but we are losing the lost art of browsing.  That’s a shame.

8
Subway recently moved into the Rockaway Mall food court.  It used to have its own store in the mall, but when Red Robin came in; Subway was moved to the food court.  What’s striking is that now the overwhelming smell of the food court is fresh baked Subway bread.  We’re talking about a food court with about a dozen vendors, all emitting scents from the food they continually prepare… but the overwhelming smell no matter where you are located in the food court is Subway bread.  That’s pretty powerful.

7
This whole NBA-lockout thing is just one big David Stern-concocted conspiracy.  American basketball fans will most likely lose most, if not all of the upcoming NBA season.  International basketball fans, however, will be able to see quality NBA players playing in their leagues overseas.  This will go a LONG way toward cementing basketball’s foothold as a truly international sport.  Stern knows that basketball will never replace football as the American sport, but by building its popularity overseas by having locked-out players serve as unknowing ambassadors around the world, basketball has the opportunity to stand right along soccer as a global phenomenon.  Well played.

6
Some days I am the prickly type.  Other days I am the gooey type.  But everyday I am the type that wishes Alan Watts was still around to teach us.

5
Does anybody truly understand what all this debt-ceiling nonsense is all about?  Seems like a lot of voodoo mumbo jumbo to me.  Global economics is a hoax and politics is the dirtiest business on the planet.  I want no part of any of it.

4
Adventures of Power was definitely one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time.  It was funny, well constructed, and ripe with meaning.  I don’t understand why more people weren’t talking about this movie and telling me I had to go see it.  I had to stumble upon it accidently.  Society isn’t functioning properly if good art is being obscured.

3
The 27 Club should be made up exclusively of Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, and Jim Morrison.  They were all 27, and they all died within a year of each other.  Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse were too recent to be included, and Robert Johnson was too long ago.  And don’t get me started on Brian Jones.

2
Overrated:  Vitamin Water

Underrated:  Seltzer Water

Rated Correctly:  Water

1
This makes me happy:

It reminds me of the good parts of my childhood.  To this day, whenever I play basketball and I steal the ball I make the Pitfall sound effect.  And while I don’t claim to be much of a fan of the real Tom Chambers, video-game Tom Chambers will always be a legend to me.

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