In today’s weekly installment of fast food for thought is the gathering of the local kink community tomorrow night. We’re going to a Chinese buffet somewhere….Can you imagine, 20 kinky pervs trying to behave in a very vanilla family dining situation…Last time I used a chopstick as a urethral sound for Christ’s sake. Do you have any idea how bad splinters in your pee-hole feel?!? Now I do…Tho next time I won’t lube it with Srichacha sauce first. Painslut – yeah…I’ll cop to that. And I do love me some hot girl on grill action, cannibal lesbian style!
I just came back from a weekend long trip to Philly to submit to public humiliation and savage beating from a pro-domme at the Diabolique Ball (see www.phillyfetishball.com)… It was a surely the most sexually perverse thing to happen on Earth that weekend. I’ll leave it at that.
I do have to say coming back to my regular life has been epic shittery of a scale I can’t articulate. My boss says I’m not earning my keep but it’s his fault. Jenni is away with her girlfriend for a week, I’m experiencing sub drop form the intense 48 hour BDSM scene I just had, and the holidays blow dog dick in general. It’s dark and cold all the time…I like bright and cold. Dark and cold bad. About the only thing I have that is good in my life now is my kittybird (the live-in housekeeper/lover/fucktoy/spiritual beacon).
I’ll be going to my Mom and Pop’s house for Xmas this year with the kittybird and kids…No Jenni because family stresses her out – specifically – my absurd family. My brother will be his loud usual self…Dad will throw his dentures out 21 times. He had me tag them with a NRC exempt minuscule quantity of radioactive cesium-137 so we can easily find them now with a scintillation counter, It’s been such a huge lifesaver. You immediately know which trash can to rummage through to find pa’s choppers. The party is usually really nice – but the situation quickly devolves into a plate of dogshit with bits of broken glass in it. People will constantly be dropping T-bombs on me and I’ll have to gruffly ignore them until they acknowledge that they are douchebags and I’m their new god…
I swear those people get to meet more strange people every year. I mean, compared to Parker the Recovering Freebase Addict, Herschel the Real Wandering Jew, and No-Name Southerner Guy that Lives on Lawsuits….I can surmise that if you wanna know weird as fuck people….Run a taxi cab service. Lawsuit dude was complete with neck brace and retractable aluminum cane/fly-fishing rod combo.
I wish I could make this shit up…BUT IT’S ALL FUCKING REAL! I suppose this is not surprising because they live like one mile from Hedgewood…The epicenter of all things odd in this universe.
In the meantime while you’re pondering the absurdity of the aforementioned people….consider this picture of a hot MILF with a giant steel ball: