There have been many things in my life that I could have done without. I’m not saying I had to live on the streets and eat out of garbage cans. I’m not bringing this up to down-play any of your shitty lives. I’m the one writing for It’s The Crew, though, so calm your selves and just love everything I say. Thanks fellas, ladies.
I feel as though I was not meant to be born. I tried to get out of my mom’s womb a week early, but was in the wrong position. They had to perform a c-section on my mother to get me out the safest way. If I had been born during an earlier time period, they would not have had the technology (nor the sanitation knowledge) to get me out safely. We’re talking early 90s here, so lo and behold a child is born! The genes my parents hauled my way are anything but desirable. Endless allergies that keep on popping up, ruthless asthma, and other joyous health issues. The human race is so damn flawed. It seems as though my life and body have attempted to reject me my whole existence. My immune system is a weakling.
I was never really a normal kid. Playing with others was too scary and lame, yet I loathed being lonely. Instead of having my own fun at parties, I would hang around the adults, until they shooed me away. I would, then, turn to tailing my younger sister around wherever she went. The kids at school, who I considered to be my friends, were anything but friendly. I disliked them, my own “friends.” Whenever anyone would try to arrange a “play-date,” whether it be my mom or a friend, I would reluctantly agree, but then cancel at the very last minute. During recess, in first grade, I used to run along the wood planks that lined the playground and see how fast I could go without falling. If I tired of this, I’d swing on the swings and hope that nobody talked to me. I recall my other playground experiences to be unpleasant and lame. I was quite the introverted little chick. I mostly loved to read, think, and be on my own. Thank goodness I’m not that socially crippled anymore (still love to read and think).
My family and my struggle towards independence has been the greatest stress in my life. Apparently, a very religious mother and a frustrated father are a bad combination. As the oldest of three children, I feel like the protector, especially for my brother. He struggles in school, even though he is an immensely smart guy. My parents have a tough time dealing with his educational strife. It is hard to see him be so oppressed. I try really hard to help, but ultimately he has to fight his own battles, like I fight mine. At eighteen, you can be your own family.
I see myself as an artist. There is no desire in me to be wealthy or extravagant. I want the sole pleasure of happiness and satisfaction. There has been so much struggle and stress in my past. I am done with it and just want to be positive and happy. That is an imperative step towards that goal. Admitting and whole-heartedly deciding things are very important elements to attaining what you want. As an artist, I see many things in different ways than others do. Everyone sees things their own way, I know, but I believe I have a great deal of spontaneous creativity and a good mind to utilize it in the appropriate fashions. I look forward to my journey to find true happiness and satisfaction.