This month marks the rebirth of It’s the Crew and I’m honored to have been asked to make regular written contributions. For reasons yet unborn and likely irrational – I’ve been fearing writing this piece. Days of DXM drenched naked introspection have brought a cornucopia of ideas to the altar. Steampunk as it relates to the BDSM community, Computational fluid dynamics for the terminally ill, Tesla, and Marx (The one with the book). I like to think of myself as a semi-lucid visionary armed with a framing nailer tacking ideas to the children’s foreheads like the little known 5th horseman of the apocalypse. Your mileage may vary – it’s all just tears in the rain. Inspired by the Baron Harkonnen, Cornell West, and shrimp vindaloo – my writings promise to be sadistically eclectic, spicy and (possibly) imminently forgettable.
In the beginning: The new girl.
We’re your garden variety polyamorous genderqueer mad scientist bondage dykes from suburbia. We recently had the opportunity to take in a semi-sane homeless plural furry girl. Previously bringing a third into our home was disastrous. There was La Luchadora Que Se Llaman Pee-Jay. A tranny WWE groupie armed only with tights too small and heart too big – and the rich, nuanced personality of a Czechoslovakian beet farmer. You can find that one on Myspace if you want to know more.
This girl is different. My ex-boyfriend hates her. She’s cute, has perfect teeth, does meticulous housework, and I dare say…is my first blonde. Nothing says welcome home from a hard day’s work like seeing “BBIAB – you girls get washed up for the orgy” written on the markerboard. For the first time in as long as I can remember… Life is good.
Staci J. Elaan is your stereotypical evil genius with a soft spot for furries and geeks in general. She is:
- Reputedly the mother of 3Dtv.
- A grave and powerful figure who carries herself well.
- The slut that scores more ass than a bus station toilet seat.