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Yeah, so, I’m phoning it in this week. What can I say? The life of a social revolutionary and mental explorer doesn’t always leave time for new content. Personal issues. So here’s some things I already wrote, over at the blog no one reads, and, by virtue of being from the blog that no one reads, may as well be new. So, together again for the first time, the wit and wisdom of Noel R. Rogers, padded out with accompanying surreal original art:
People Are Morons
"Mediocrity" (2002)
People are morons. It’s pretty amazing that we’re as smart as we are in comparison to other animals, true, but mostly it’s frustrating that we’re just smart enough to see that we’re not smart enough. If people weren’t morons, they wouldn’t need to invent religions to keep themselves organized. If people weren’t morons, they wouldn’t need to invent governments and laws to keep them from raping and robbing one another. When you look at us as really clever chimps in clothes, our accomplishments are quaint and impressive. When you look at us as, quite possibly, the highest developed manifestation of intelligence in the universe, suddenly you get depressed. The next step is to invent a god that’s smarter than you, so you don’t have to be depressed anymore. And it all starts again….
Church!
"Non-Denominational" (2002)
There’s people that actually, honestly believe there is a fairy-tale magic man with a beard in the sky watching their every move, and that if they don’t all come together in a room once a week and let some guy read to them out of a book that’s so old people didn’t even know the world was round when it was written; that unless they pretend not to be bored during this weekly reading, that the magic beard man will throw them into flames FOREVER. Quaint, no?
The Political Spectrum Is A Polite Fiction
"The Handshake" (2002)
I always get very suspicious when people say “liberal this” or “conservative that” when both positions, politically and philosophically, are utterly fucking retarded. Liberals say everyone should be free to choose, but then they want to make you wear a bike helmet. Conservatives say they want less government, until gays want to get married, then they want laws against it. I don’t think either side actually believes what they claim they believe. I think it is ancient primate clique-ish behavior with a new paint job so we can pretend we’re not still chimps throwing shit at one another. So we can pretend we’re civilized. I swear to god anarchy sounds better and better every day.
I Don’t Want To Hear About Your Damn Kids
"Kids Will Be Kids" (2001)
Stop acting like reproducing is some major achievement or accomplishment. It’s not. It’s a biological process, built in through billions of years of evolution. You yourself had barely anything to do with it. Hey, do you know what else is capable of reproducing its’ species? EVERY OTHER FORM OF LIFE ON THIS PLANET. They ALL reproduce. Earthworms reproduce. Goldfish reproduce. Dogs reproduce… or they would, except we keep neutering them.
I Don’t Trust Religion
"Ancient Conspiracies" (2002)
I don’t trust religion, in the sense of “moral and spiritual codes imposed on me by other people.” I don’t trust people, and I don’t trust the codes they follow and are attempting to impose on me. I don’t trust that they have any knowledge of a higher power or a greater force or an advanced intelligence, and I certainly don’t trust that the codes that they follow and are attempting to impose on me are derived from these higher powers or greater forces or advanced intelligences. As near as I can tell the chief function of religion is to sever the individual from their own internal and personal sense of spirituality and replace it with mechanical codes of behavior and the old primate dominance-submission games, the better to turn a never-ending series of wild, anarchic, more-unique-than-snowflakes individuals into drones and interchangeable parts — insects, essentially — the better to set them in motion as the great machine Society. But we are not insects. We are individuals. I don’t trust any religion that is not personal.
Catholicism Is Lame
"Crucifixation" (1998)
The Vatican sits on zillions of $$$ worth of art treasures and shit. Jesus said to give away all your possessions. And that, right there, is what I think about the Catholics — they don’t even follow the guy they follow. And like, okay, I don’t follow Jesus’s every teaching either. But– I am a flawed human who sees him as merely a teacher to attempt to follow, and I understand that I will sometimes fail or disagree. I don’t see him as, you know, THE LITERAL PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE HERE ON THIS EARTH TO TELL US HOW IT IS. So I am okay to not follow his every word. If I actually believed that he was GOD? I would HANG ON HIS EVERY FUCKING SYLLABLE. And if GOD, the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE, told me to give away all my possessions, fuck yeah I would! I would do EXACTLY what God wanted me to do to get me into heaven! Now since I don’t believe in any of that stuff except as metaphors I am free to pick and choose and try and fail. I don’t have a code provided for me from an external source. These lames think they have the code — AND THEN THEY IGNORE IT. Lame!
Every Story Is Not A Love Story
"Sex Education" (1999)
I hate how Hollywood always seems to add a stupid love angle to every single movie they make, as if every event that happens in someone’s life that’s memorable or worth telling has to revolve around some mating rituals. Like that’s the only story there is. I mean, I appreciate pair-bonding as much as the next domesticated primate, but come on. Every story is not a love story. That’s ridiculous.
Violence Is Not The Answer
"Idyll Worship" (2008)
An act of violence creates a situation for which the easiest, most natural, and most often response is another act of violence. But two wrongs do not make a right. One and one do not make zero, they make two. The responding act of violence also creates a situation for which the easiest, most natural, and most often response is yet another act of violence. Which would itself in turn create a situation for which the easiest most natural dot dot dot. You have probably heard of this looping dance of action and reaction before. It is called “the cycle of violence.” The inevitable outcome of the cycle of violence, carried through to its logical conclusion, is violence for all. Maximum destruction with minimum creation. It’s what Gandhi foresaw when he said that an eye for an eye would leave everyone blind. The only way to end this cycle is to absorb it when it comes your way and not pass it along further. When someone slaps your cheek, turn to them your other cheek as well. That’s a pretty bold concept. So bold that when Jesus tried to tell everyone about it back in the day, they responded… with violence. Forgive them for they know not what they do, and try not to add to the mess. Violence is not the answer.
The Other End Of History
"The Gnostic Theory Of Creation" (2008)
Finally, as far as all of this goes — the world affairs, the religious disputes, the toils of mankind at this day and age — as far as all that, we are so early in the era of human history and development that the time will come that everything that is happening today will be as relevant and consequential as the tribulations of the early Cro-Magnons are to us now. And since all of time is happening at once, if these events WILL BE irrelevant SOME DAY, that day is now. They are completely irrelevant. Many will listen, but few will hear.
Noel Rogers would like to thank Shannon Doherty, Chris Kozma, and Pete Pettorossi, as many or all of these pieces originated in online discussion with them. One!
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