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Fuck Columbus. The dude deserves zero accolades. ZERO! Leave it to the fucking Catholics to ram this asshole down everyone’s throats, if I may mix metaphors for a moment.
I mean, everything they teach you about this guy is a lie. It’s not that he was the only one that thought the world was round and everyone else thought it was flat… EVERYONE KNEW THE WORLD WAS ROUND! Since like the ancient Greeks! And okay, some people probably still thought it was flat, so what? Some people today do too — look up the “Flat Earth Society” and see what I mean.
What Columbus thought, and what he was terribly wrong about, was that the Earth was much smaller than it was — and being so small, that it was therefore feasible to sail ALL THE WAY AROUND THE GLOBE to get to Asia. Which, it was not. Everyone said, “No, don’t do it, the Earth’s bigger than you think, you’ll get lost in the huge ocean.” And indeed, if he hadn’t hit this general landmass — WHOLLY BY LUCK — he would probably still be floating around somewhere with the Niña, the Pinta, and the Santa fucking María.
So the guy has one bright idea that he is completely wrong about, cons the one royal family who will listen to his madness into giving him ships, stumbles by dumb luck across the New World — and immediately? Immediately? HE BEGINS WIPING OUT AND ENSLAVING THE LOCAL POPULATION. Like, I’m not even sure he waited until the next day.
This man, this Christopher Columbus, did NOTHING that deserves merit and much that deserves scorn, or at least to be seen as an example of what NOT to do. Eat a dick, Columbus.
As someone who is entrusted by the state of New Jersey to teach children history, I feel I should add my two cents.
First off, NOBODY teaches that Columbus was the only one who thought that the world was round. That was taken out of the curriculum a LONG time ago. Just like nobody teaches that Lincoln freed the slaves… Congress and the states did that. Students are taught just as you said, that it was accepted that the world was round, but Columbus thought it was smaller than most authorities at the times (20,000 miles versus 25,000)… but they were both way off. As far as his treatment of the native population… you make seem like he came off the boat with a machete just hacking people left and right. That’s not true. There was very little incidents of violence between the Spanish and the locals for most of his first stay. And the Spanish did not enslave the locals right away, servants were GIVEN to them by local chiefs as a token of good will. The only problem was that the chiefs expected these servants back. That’s where we get the phrase, ‘Indian giver.’ It was only after Columbus returned on his second voyage and found that the members of his crew that he left behind had been SLAUGHTERED by the locals, that relations between Native Americans and the Spanish took a turn for the worse that unfortunately set the tone for all interactions between European explorers and Native Americans for centuries to come. And yes, there were diseases, but that was a equal trade of small pox for syphilis.
As for Columbus not deserving any historical credit, that’s just ignorance. Maybe he received more credit than he deserved in the past, but that has been in the process of being corrected for the past several decades. To say he deserves NO credit is bogus. As I teach my kids, he was not the first person to reach the Americas… the Vikings, Chinese, and Malians all did that first… but he was the first to set up a permanent settlement in the Americas which opened the door for all future European exploration and settlement of the ‘New World’… which ultimately resulted in America being created. That deserves some credit. And yes, Columbus was lucky, but he created his own luck by being brave, persistent, and even the ardent Columbus detractors agree that he was the best damn sailor- in terms of technical skill and instinct- of his time and possibly all time.
And just so don’t think this is just coming from me, I’ll leave you with ALL the standards relating to Columbus directly and indirectly that ALL middle school teachers in New Jersey must adhere to. I’m sure you’ll see that there is no bias or slant toward Columbus.
6.1.8.D.1.b Explain how interactions among African, European, and Native American groups began a cultural transformation.
6.1.8.D.1.c Evaluate the impact of the Colombian Exchange on ecology, agriculture, and culture from different perspectives.
6.1.8.B.2.b Compare and contrast how the search for natural resources resulted in conflict and cooperation among European colonists and Native American groups in the New World.
That’s it. Nothing about Columbus being a hero or discovering that the world was round, just an attempt to take a balanced approach to a complicated period of history. And that’s coming from the government.
Do you have work on Monday?
Because if not, maybe you can watch the parade.
What I’m saying is, I’m not speaking specifically of a bias in the educational system of New Jersey. Or even a bias in the education system of the other 49 states. A carpenter views all problems in terms of nails, I suppose. What I am talking about is a CULTURAL bias, that is much more widespread. You say they stopped teaching that Columbus was some visionary hero — if so, it was in like the last two decades. Which means that unless they published a huge retraction somewhere, there’s a huge populace of people older than us, or even our age — that was how I was taught, after all — that haven’t bothered to find out the truth and still think this genocidal slaver was some kind of hero. They have parades for him. Many people don’t work on Columbus Day. And don’t even get me started on the Knights Of Columbus. This is a CULTURAL perception, and it has fuck-all to do with the curriculum in New Jersey in 2011. I am glad to read your comments though, because it is a sign that the pendulum is slowly swinging the other way. I am all for Columbus getting his proper recognition in history, but as long as the cultural bias is in the direction of him being a hero, I have to set the contrast by saying he deserves credit for nothing. Like a Coakley.