I don’t understand people.
Let’s start off with a typical situation, shall we? Sally and Gary have been together for two years. Their relationship is going pretty well. They recently moved in together and have gotten adjusted to how each other live. Sally has been hinting to Gary that she wants to get married, but he hasn’t felt ready yet. He’s afraid the marriage will change the relationship. Not wanting to lose Sally because of this silly notion, he asks her to marry him. They wed, and, over time, Gary finds that his worst nightmare has come true. Sally has changed and so has their relationship. He even finds that he has changed, too. Their marriage grows bitter as they find great unhappiness dividing them. Sally would never leave him because it would be a sin and what would her friends say? Gary would never leave her because he is too afraid of never finding anyone else to marry. And thus, Sally and Gary fester in their marriage of rotting love.
If you really love someone, care so deeply for an individual, that you are willing to spend the rest of your life with that person, just do it. Why would you legally bind them to you? Is that what love is? A contract? People can be in love and stay faithful to each other without getting ANYONE ELSE involved. From an objective (can my opinion be objective? in my world, yes it can) view, a marriage is something that will drain you and your family’s bank accounts, last a few hours, cause conversion of religion in some cases, and involve the government in your relationship. Do you really think it matters whether they know you are in love or not?
Okay, I’ll take a break from the questions.
Here’s another scenario for you folks. Let’s say your spouse becomes psychotic. They start stalking you, accusing you of things, being suspicious of anything, getting verbally, mentally and or physically violent, joins a cult, and so on. What do you do? You have LEGALLY tied yourself to this person and now you have to make a choice. Stay with them and live with these aspects of your spouse, or leave them and face a divorce. There is a very real chance that this may happen.
Marriage is not worth the trouble. If you truly love someone, you don’t FORCE them to be with you. It means so so so much more to be together with someone that really has no obligation to and yet there they are, staying with you. Does it make you feel safe? Safety is an illusion. That person can cheat on you, abuse you, and ruin your life regardless of what possessive name you call each other. Boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, lover, whatever. They are all just names. I could call someone my schlumpface and that wouldn’t make a difference. If they are going to do anything that will harm you, do you really think that being in a relationship with them will create some sort of shield? At least if you don’t have the “legal” commitment to that person you can just get the hell out of that mess one way or another without them taking your money and any sense of self worth you have left at that point. People fail at relationships so often, it amazes me that we still attempt the same system we’ve been struggling with for hundreds of years. People don’t need marriage and titles to decide to love one another intimately and romantically. Love, devotion, and responsibility will all come naturally if the relationship has anything going for it. You will WANT to do things for your significant other. Rub their feet, bring them coffee/tea, kiss them through morning breath, lotion the sunburn on their back, and do all the little things that penetrate through the boundaries of “I love you” and “I adore you.” Love is a word that is thrown around like it’s a sport. To adore someone is to truly feel a passion and fascination for the person you enjoy the most.
So don’t get married. Stay with the ones you love and leave the ones you don’t. You’re wasting your time.
You’re all silly.