For those who don’t believe in what can’t happen.
I don’t believe in the apocalypse, any apocalypse. Rather, I don’t believe it’s going to happen the way you or I assume it will happen. It’s kind of hard to even take it seriously when there are so many different versions of what the apocalypse will be. And I certainly don’t believe in the “end of the world.” Even when our sun expands into a red giant in a few billion years, I have enough faith and optimism that humanity will be sailing through black holes and into other galaxies, with Earth as our spaceship. The material world might get swallowed up by a dying star, but by then we’ll have spread enough of our seed across the cosmic consciousness to flourish forever. Yet while I struggle to hold onto this vision of prevailing, I would be a fool not to face the possbility-turned-likelihood that in this lifetime, all of our global shit could hit the spiritual fan.
The world may not end but that doesn’t mean we won’t have to go through more pain before we rise again. It’s not even that things must get worse before they get better. Things are getting better as they get worse. The pendulum gains momentum as it swings the other way. We’re just along for the ride. No disinctions between good and bad, right or wrong…it’s meant to happen because it is happening. NOW.
Nevertheless, if I must remain in the crucible of this material world, then I have to face the possbility that all these precious creature comforts may be called into question: collapsing economies, natural disasters, communications and power failures, martial law, barbarism, lack of crucial resources like food and water and porn. (Just wanted to see if you’re still paying attention.) And what I’ve come to realize is that if we do end up creating some Mad Max-esque reality, well, I’m probably screwed.
I mean, let’s face it. I’m pretty useless when it comes to almost everything one would need to survive and/or thrive in a pre-industrial hellscape. Let’s start with food and water. As for food, I wouldn’t know how to live off the land. My gardening skills are scant at best. There is way more plant life that I can’t identify than the plant life I can. I haven’t been fishing for years. However I could see myself eventually being able to stab a fish with a spear. I have very basic mechanical knowledge. I don’t know how to build or repair basic machinery or electronics. Cars? Fuhgeddaboudit. I imagine that many people in the same circumstance would loot for resources or steal from each other. I may resort to looting (hoarding corporations got us here in the first place) but I don’t think I could resort to stealing from my fellows. I don’t know where to find potable water other than in a bottle or from the tap. I have enough rudimentary knowledge to eventually be able to grow my own food. But that depends on the land I end up on, and whether or not I can defend it.
Who knows what’ll be out there waiting. Creatures, psychos, soldiers, zombies, alien overlords or death robots. I have a fierce heart. I’m a lover but I could just as easily be a fighter. I don’t know how well I could actually lead people or whether they would even choose me as their leader. I’m sure I have it in me though. It’s almost a fantasy. I would have no problem following orders from a competent leader and doing my part for the greater good. I can be loyal and invaluable to the community.
There would be safety in numbers, but what if I’m alone? What if the attacker is bigger, stronger, or has a weapon? What if I’m outnumbered? I’m 5′ 5″ and my worst fights with another human being have been with my little brother…and he once sent me to the hospital! I don’t have martial arts skills although I am gifted with stealth. I swear sometimes I think I’ve actually been invisible. Still, I would need someone like my brother to help defend me against unmatched opponent(s).
I love to camp. I love harsh terrain and unexplored places. I love crawing through caves and climbing trees. I can walk up a mountain and I’m a pretty decent swimmer. I don’t know the first thing about creating a sustainable shelter though. I don’t know how long I could stay in my house without being attacked or forced to evacuate. I could probably defend myself from most wild animals except for bears and giant cats. I don’t know how to hunt, though I’m sure I’d learn. The hardest part would be skinning and gutting the animal. If forced to become nomadic, would I know where to migrate? I can read a map without GPS for cryin’ out loud, but the map is not the territory. Would I really be able to face those unknown elements?
So that’s just the things I can think of. I am woefully ill-prepared for this supposed apocalypse. That’s why I’m jealous of anyone who can do well, anything constructive. I’d say it’s a safe bet that there won’t be blogs during the apocalypse.
It’s quite clear that my best chance for survival will be to rely on others who know how to do what is necessary. The most important skill I will need is the ability to get along with you. More than anything I’ll need to be a damn good human being.
How would my current career translate into a post-apocalyptic enviornment? Well, in that sense I may have the most exciting role ever. Not only could I be a shaman perserving the Serious God Knowledge; I would also be an acolyte, truly learning all this Trivial Human Lore. My greatest gift is empathy. I will ground all our energies so that we don’t go crazy.
In the end I try to imagine that even if I’ve been spoiled and softened by this society, a chaostrophe could very well be cathartic. The very disintergration of the old way of life could help reveal and heighten my latent supernal abilites. I could become a forefather to this new and glorious age. The apocalypse is nothing more than a revelation of consciousness.
Towel Boy is an omega male.