Written by 
Yeah, so, I’m phoning it in this week. What can I say? The life of a social revolutionary and mental explorer doesn’t always leave time for new content. Personal issues. So here’s some things I already wrote, over at the blog no one reads, and, by virtue of being from the blog that no one reads, may as well be new. So, together again for the first time, the wit and wisdom of Noel R. Rogers, padded out with accompanying surreal original art: READ MORE »
Posts in category New Age
I Don’t Belong Here: Phoning It In (The Best Of New Sun Rising)
I Don’t Belong Here: Wake Me Up When It’s The Future
I give up guys, I’m gonna go just do my thing, you guys have fun with your presidents and shit, and we’ll try to stay out of each other’s ways. ‘Kay? Wake me up when we’re in the future. Know why? Because I want to see space, that’s why. It’s totally within our grasp and we’re pretty much ignoring it. So wake me up when it’s the future.
I mean, literally. Wake me up. In the future. When you guys have the means to resurrect the essences of the dead. I’m not stupid. I know it’s not going to happen in my lifetime. So when it happens, wake me up. I’m done with the present.
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I Don’t Belong Here: Intelligent Design Theory Is Bunk
There’s a lot of reasons why I don’t believe in Intelligent Design Theory. They mostly boil down to, THEN WHY IS EVERYTHING SO FUCKING DUMB? READ MORE »
I Don’t Belong Here: Think About The Future (Last Words For 2011)
(This selection was originally published in Heroes And Hierophants, available for sale wherever awesome things are sold.)
There’s something I want to talk to all of you about today, and it’s the future. When you chart the progress of humanity, the highs and the lows, when you chart the direction life has been moving in this whole time, it becomes clear that we stand today at the precipice of two paths, if I may mix metaphors: total death or eternal life. Total death would mean the extinction of all humans and the devastation of the biosphere to the point where intelligent life cannot redevelop in the time left before the sun blows up. Eternal life would entail humanity transcending their physical location and physical selves, to grow and to become gods.
If this sounds to you like rehashed rhetoric from the Old-Time Religions, you are not far off – this conflict, this crisis of choice, has been standing before us since before we were even humans. But it is only now, as humans, that we have the knowledge, the numbers, the technology, to bring about total death or eternal life. Today I’d like to talk more about the latter. READ MORE »
HACK № 21: A Santa Story
Written by Howdy Consumers, welcome to the twenty-first ornamentation of HACK. If you’ve made it this far, remember that the best gift you’ll ever get is your present.
This week I present you with an alternate reality adventure that is presently in progress…
A SANTA STORY
“You’d be surprised how much room there is in a chimney.”
Santa Claus slid down the sooty surface like it was a water slide. I clumsily clambered downward; hands, knees and backside pressed up against the brick.
“Just let go and enjoy the ride!” he called from the blackness below.
I figured, what the hell, it’s Santa Claus. It’s not like he would let me die—again. So I let go and felt the grating ash on my backside. Suddenly a force pushed upward against my body. I could feel my jeans getting extremely warm but my upper half was freeze-burned, dirty and stuck.
“HO HO HO!”
The silly bastard laughed at everything. He laughed exactly the same way every time. It never got old. I felt grips around each of my ankles. Santa yanked and I emerged through flames into a cozy, hobbit-sized room.
“You know, hobbits originated from a dwarf-elf half breed,” Santa said. He reached into the fireplace and pulled out a steaming clay pot.
“Tea?”
He poured a hot steaming purple substance into a reindeer mug and its nose lit up red. He then produced two bottles, poured absynthe into one of the reindeer mug’s antlers and hot sake into the other. They dribbled and mixed into the tea which hissed and bubbled for a second. I took a sip and felt the warm, delicious drip hit me.
I smirked. “So what are you, some lame secret agent or something?”
“Nope, just a spirit, loosely manifested by the myths of various tribes and religions,” Santa said.
He leaned back in reverie… READ MORE »
I Don’t Belong Here: The Gluurg Conjectures
Of all the religious concepts I have created and toyed with in the years — and it is strange to realize how many I have created, from the Book Of Spoons to the Church Of The Auto-Deity to Nasirology to Crypto-Solipsism — out of all of them, probably my proudest moment was the creation of Gluurg. Gluurg is just like God, you see. Except he’s not God, he’s Gluurg. Later on I ret-conned that Gluurg stood for something. Galactic Lifeform Universal Something Something Something. I believe the proper term is “backronym.” But really there was no meaning. I liked the sound of Gluurg. I liked spelling it with the double u. The point of Gluurg is that Gluurg means nothing. Because Gluurg is just like God. Except he’s not God, he’s Gluurg. READ MORE »
I Don’t Belong Here: Some Bits From “Things I Have Learned”
In the early part of the decade I spent a few years working on my 800 Page Crackpot Manifesto™, titled “Things I Have Learned”. Ever since then I have been eating off of it. Whenever I can’t think of anything to write, and I’m not quite shameless enough to reprint something from my other blog or similar source, I dip into Things I Have Learned for some wisdom to share. Here’s some gems for you from different points along my spiritual and intellectual development. Original content again next week, folks. Probably. READ MORE »