Howdy Constituents, welcome to the sixty-third electorate of HACK. If you’ve made it this far, always let your conscience be your guide.
Due to Hurricane Sandy I’ve been off from work for 11 days now. Unfortunately, where I once could sleep 12 – 15 hours straight, my career consciousness is programmed to wake up ea [...]
Posts in category Hate
I Don’t Belong Here: Bread, Cir...
(I Don’t Belong Here, The Lost Month concludes with this review I wrote of The Matrix Reloaded, basically right upon leaving the theater, May 15, 2003. Remember The Matrix? Me neither.)
Let’s be honest. The first Matrix was a smart movie for dumb people. While it deserves kudos for its groundbreaking special effects (copied in every act [...]
I Don’t Belong Here: Patch-et J...
(The Lost Month continues with this angry essay I wrote in January of 1999, within hours of paying money to see the festering bull-turd called Patch Adams.)
Friends and family members, people whose opinions I value, told me I should see the movie “Patch Adams,” the true story of one man’s unconventional battle to return hum [...]
I Don’t Belong Here: Stigmata S...
This is what the flyer read:
In consideration of the trend towards body piercing and the political shift towards the religious right…
STIGMATA SHOPPE
Stigmata (bodily marks resembling the wounds suffered by Christ) has historically only been manifested in the holiest and most divine of us. Now, you too can be considered divine and holy by yo [...]
I Don’t Belong Here: Same-Sex M...
I’m just going to put this one up in the air, because I guess someone has to. There is no legitimate argument against same-sex marriage. None! Or rather, put more accurately, any legitimate argument against same-sex marriage is also an argument against marriage itself in general. That’s the shape of it. I’d rather be talking [...]
I Don’t Belong Here: Marriage I...
Marriage is for tools. Now wait, before the irrational reptilian part of your brain begins to immediately object. Let me explain. I do not mean to imply that if you are married, you are a tool. I am actually trying to directly come and state it. That marriage is for tools. You tool. Okay. NOW feel free for your reptilian emotional response. I [...]
Letters From God: Dear United States ...
Dear United States of America,
I have to tell you, I’m tired of your shit. I mean, I know I haven’t exactly been around in a while and you’re clearly throwing a fit. But, come on. I’ve obviously moved on. You think I’m proud of humans? Sheesh. Worst idea ever. I definitely learned my lesson. Not that you guys ar [...]



