Good morning peoples! Today I’m just coming back from a nervous breakdown. Seriously – I’ve spent like 1 day of the last three or so weeks at home. The rest has been consumed by business travel. The price to pay I suppose.
I took some time to work on a much needed project. Shameless plug ensues: READ MORE »
There have been many things in my life that I could have done without. I’m not saying I had to live on the streets and eat out of garbage cans. I’m not bringing this up to down-play any of your shitty lives. I’m the one writing for It’s The Crew, though, so calm your selves and just love everything I say. Thanks fellas, ladies.
I envision my future to be much brighter than my past. READ MORE »
Life takes interesting turns when you least expect it to.
Sometimes those turns are good. Sometimes, not so good.
2011 was overwhelmed by changes brought into my life. Half good. Half bad.
Congrats to me for surviving another Christmas vacation…I saw things that would make a Sherpa orgy feel normal to a coven of Vaktik assassins.
I didn’t get a whole lot done in my 4 days off. Granted I had my kids – which require constant attention for fear of the house burning down or worse. Together we saw lots of family, ate lots of stuff, and ridiculed each other in good spirits.
I’m happy to say that I’ve put pencil to paper for the design of the new lightning gun – the more manufactureable version. So far the whole thing is made of $20 cordless drills, PVC drain pipe, and fender washers. Go me. These are going to go for between $350 and $600 each depending on which features are included. Should be lots of fun if it doesn’t land me in jail. READ MORE »
Howdy Lovers, welcome to the twentieth consummation of HACK. If you’ve made it this far, don’t forget tomorrow is Give Your Wedding Ring to A Single Person Day. As per sacred tradition, the single person gets to bang the spouse of the person who gives them their ring, while you get to go out and bang everybody else’s spouse who is single for a day.
Last week I brought up two subjects I have no direct experience of: marriage and kids. I have neither. I once went steady with a girl when she had been separated for only four months. She eventually got the divorce and shared custody of her daughter. They are both my dear friends to this day. Later on I dabbled in the colors of a deaf artist with two hearing kids, a girl and boy. The kids’ father (also deaf) was somewhere south, seriously trying to get off the grid. So I’m not married and I don’t have kids but I’ve at least had a few years of experiences acting the part.
This week we’re going to take a closer look at that those spiritually legal unions that everyone thinks are the only the kind of unions that should be recognized and sanctioned by society. READ MORE »
In today’s weekly installment of fast food for thought is the gathering of the local kink community tomorrow night. We’re going to a Chinese buffet somewhere….Can you imagine, 20 kinky pervs trying to behave in a very vanilla family dining situation…Last time I used a chopstick as a urethral sound for Christ’s sake. Do you have any idea how bad splinters in your pee-hole feel?!? Now I do…Tho next time I won’t lube it with Srichacha sauce first. Painslut – yeah…I’ll cop to that. And I do love me some hot girl on grill action, cannibal lesbian style! READ MORE »
Howdy Zygotes, welcome to the nineteenth afterbirth of HACK. If you’ve made it this far, please don’t have any more kids.
Among the funniest of my recent discoveries is that my ex, Melodie Reece, has become Faceboob friends with my brother. This is funny because she looks exactly the same as she did 10+ years ago when I dumped her on Christmas day. Poor thing can never look at a present again without thinking about the one that got away. When the whole of your life is “Being the Preeble County Bukkake Queen” I probably seem like a pretty good catch. I blame that 300lb indiscretion on being young and foolish.
I wanted to take a moment to cover the recent Japanese nuclear tragedy. Apparently some cultural confusion has come from the symbols used it identify radiation hazards. READ MORE »
I don’t understand people.
Let’s start off with a typical situation, shall we? Sally and Gary have been together for two years. Their relationship is going pretty well. They recently moved in together and have gotten adjusted to how each other live. Sally has been hinting to Gary that she wants to get married, but he hasn’t felt ready yet. He’s afraid the marriage will change the relationship. Not wanting to lose Sally because of this silly notion, he asks her to marry him. READ MORE »
I’m writing this in advance knowing full well that this is going to be a Thanksgiving post. I’m already thinking about the Christmas tree and the turkey isn’t dead yet. I would deep fry that fucker but the smell of burning feathers is only marginally better than the smell of burning hair. READ MORE »
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