Well it’s October again. Which means, like every year, that it’s time for BREAST CANCER AWARENESS FEVER! Pinktober, y’all! Buy special pink versions of household products and GIVE TO THE CURE. And, it’s October again, so it’s time again for me to be the lone voice from the wilderness reminding everyone that other cancers exist, and it’s a little ridiculous how much hype breast cancer gets. It’s not the most deadly. It’s not the most common. It’s not the hardest to treat. It’s not even the only one with a special “awareness month.” And yet, Breast Cancer Awareness Month (which for retailers seems to run between September and November, if not just year-round) just keeps getting bigger and bigger every year.
READ MORE »
Posts in category Anger
I Don’t Belong Here: Fuck Pinktober
I Don’t Belong Here: The Time Thieves
Here’s a view you don’t hear often. The slow, useless, incompetent people that are seemingly everywhere these days — and by “these days” I mean probably “always” but I can only speak for the time I’ve personally seen — they steal your time, my time, and we’re not getting it back. And it’s not right. Society isn’t structured with the view that time is a commodity with value, which is crazy because time is the only thing that there is a natural limit to. Benjamin Franklin said the only sure things were death and taxes. Except taxes are a human innovation, while death is an integral part of life. You can skip out on your taxes if you’re clever or really rich. You can’t skip out on death. Not yet. Maybe never. You’ve got a finite amount of time. You don’t get it back. It’s not like taxes. When I die, I don’t get some time refund check in the mail. It’s not like there’s St. Peter up in the Pearly Gates with an adding machine.
READ MORE »
HACK № 58: Bromidic
Bromidic
You can’t find a moment alone. No matter where you go they find you. Cameras and eyes. Try to disappear and you sacrifice more than should be necessary. Privacy is no longer a right, it’s a luxury. Can you afford to avoid the dynamic shift in consciousness occurring all around you, throughout this entire planet?
I know it hurts. READ MORE »
I Don’t Belong Here: Scorn And Condemnation
I saw the dumbest thing today. This guy on some message board — and yes, I realize I deserve what I get looking into THAT whorehouse of unfettered opinion — was talking about how like Barack Obama was the enemy of human freedom. That’s not the dumb part. Well, not the dumbest part. The dumbest was when the guy said, “I’ll take freedom over social equality. Freedom is what this country was built on” or words to that effect. And I was like, stop the beat, stop the beat. Freedom over social equality? What’s the difference? READ MORE »
HACK № 49: Freedom Is The Write
Howdy Patriots, welcome to the forty-ninth declaration of HACK. If you’ve made it this far, it takes a strong constitution to swallow the American Dream.
Patriotism Is Lame
Fuck Independence Day. Not the movie Independence Day. That movie’s pretty good, I’m watching it right now. I don’t even mean Fuck Independence Day as in I don’t care about history or the fact that the Declaration of Independence was a unique document formed around ideas that evolved us a species. I just mean–it was a long time ago. Where’s the holiday for the writing of the Tao Te Ching? Or let’s celebrate The Council of Trent when the grand ‘ol Catholic Church decided what books would stay in the Bible and which ones would go? Looking for something more American? How about we have a holiday celebrating the signing of the Patriot Act? We can celebrate the time we used our freedom to give our government the “right” to take away our own freedoms. READ MORE »
HACK № 48: Topical Depression
“That being said, [Towel Boy] is undoubtedly correct: we’re lucky that we can speculate in a positive direction rather than lament a failed experiment.” –Christopher DeFilippis
Well, here we are. The second half of 2012. I am sitting in a stucco porch. On my left are the glass doors leading to my parent’s condo. On my right is a wall of two floor-to-ceiling windows that look out on a a tree with fuchsia flowers, two tall palm trees, the generic blue sky and a few fluffy clouds. Yesterday I flew into Tampa and a tropical depression that after two weeks had now become a tropical storm. Darkness and wind and intermittent downpours of rain…my favorite conditions, actually.
There was also that unique feeling of being on a plane as it moves through clouds so thick that when you look out the window all you see is a netherworld of white. You hear the engines and you know the plane is moving across at least four dimensional coordinates yet all you see is the void: illusion of stillness, no forms and therefore no distances, the unholy absence of geometry. A fixed phase of timelessness. The eternal stagnation of this present moment. READ MORE »
HACK № 47: It Refers To Itself
Howdy what’s left of you, welcome to the forty-seventh misappropriation of HACK. If you’ve made it this far, then you know that this month’s cover photo comes next.
I hate that my co-workers count down the days till the “end.” All these posts: “Only 13 more days to go. We can do it!” “Ten more left!” “5 more days and we’re free!” Is that how you live your life? Counting down each present moment to a false window of bliss? I disapprove of counting down things that you can’t wait to be over because the very act of counting down makes that thing you want to be over seem to take even longer to end. READ MORE »
ITC 3.6: IH8UALL (2005)
Well, it’s been almost a full year and it’s just about time for Noel to snap and go to the dark side again! Will anyone be able to talk him back with reason or will he have to be put down like the dog he is? Guest starring: George W. Bush!
READ MORE »
HACK № 42: The Weaning of Life
Howdy Meltedcheesedeks, welcome to the forty-second continuation of HACK. If you’ve made it this far, there’s a silver lining just over that horizon behind you.
OK folks, here’s how this is going to play out. First I write a few self-referential paragraphs to get it out of my system, while simultaneously holding everything else in. Next, a nice little story about Vineland, NJ to help us forget that any of this is (not) real. Finally, a bunch of unrelated, recently taken pictures. If we have a deal, you may read on… READ MORE »
Letters From God: Dear United States Of America
Dear United States of America,
I have to tell you, I’m tired of your shit. I mean, I know I haven’t exactly been around in a while and you’re clearly throwing a fit. But, come on. I’ve obviously moved on. You think I’m proud of humans? Sheesh. Worst idea ever. I definitely learned my lesson. Not that you guys are all bad, but I won’t be making anymore nah mean? READ MORE »
HACK № 35: The Hunger Lames
Howdy Contestants, welcome to the thirty-fifth reality show of HACK. If you’ve made it this far, remember that this game is to the death.
So this week I’m going into full hypocrite mode. I haven’t read The Hunger Games, haven’t seen the movie, and I don’t plan to anytime soon. Therefore, I’m about to hate on something that I know very little about except for the synopsis.
If you’re one of those people who is all wet in the ass over the books and movie, you’re probably gearing up to hate on my hate and tell me why I don’t know what I’m talking about and that The Hunger Games is really good. And therein lies the rub. I believe you. It’s not The Hunger Games I have a problem with, per se, it’s YOU. READ MORE »
I Don’t Belong Here: How To Kill George Zimmerman (2012 So Far)
Let’s talk a little about where society seems to be at right now. It’s only 9 months away from 12-21-12… and whatever is supposed to happen, there’s no sign of it coming yet.
Not pictured: A human being
Speaking of nine month periods of time, that reminds me about something I keep wanting to talk about. The whole idea of passing a law declaring that life begins at conception instead of at birth. They want to do this, I believe, because if human life begins when the sperm collides with the egg, then abortion is murder and must be criminalized. I don’t even want to talk about how this is obviously a huge gray area because while there is nothing remotely human about a freshly-fertilized egg other than its DNA and its potential, it clearly has become a human being by the time its born. But laws don’t allow for gray area. That’s why they’re called laws. And that’s not even what I want to talk about. READ MORE »