I’m just going to put this one up in the air, because I guess someone has to. There is no legitimate argument against same-sex marriage. None! Or rather, put more accurately, any legitimate argument against same-sex marriage is also an argument against marriage itself in general. That’s the shape of it. I’d rather be talking about Batman villains right now, but there we are. What? You’re confused? Oh, no, I didn’t say there weren’t any arguments against same-sex marriage, just that they’re all stupid and wrong! Let’s run down some of them so I can underline this point.
Posts in category America
I Don’t Belong Here: Same-Sex Marriage? More Like LAME-Sex Marriage!
Letters From God: Dear United States Of America
Dear United States of America,
I have to tell you, I’m tired of your shit. I mean, I know I haven’t exactly been around in a while and you’re clearly throwing a fit. But, come on. I’ve obviously moved on. You think I’m proud of humans? Sheesh. Worst idea ever. I definitely learned my lesson. Not that you guys are all bad, but I won’t be making anymore nah mean? READ MORE »
HACK № 35: The Hunger Lames
Howdy Contestants, welcome to the thirty-fifth reality show of HACK. If you’ve made it this far, remember that this game is to the death.
So this week I’m going into full hypocrite mode. I haven’t read The Hunger Games, haven’t seen the movie, and I don’t plan to anytime soon. Therefore, I’m about to hate on something that I know very little about except for the synopsis.
If you’re one of those people who is all wet in the ass over the books and movie, you’re probably gearing up to hate on my hate and tell me why I don’t know what I’m talking about and that The Hunger Games is really good. And therein lies the rub. I believe you. It’s not The Hunger Games I have a problem with, per se, it’s YOU. READ MORE »
I Don’t Belong Here: How To Kill George Zimmerman (2012 So Far)
Let’s talk a little about where society seems to be at right now. It’s only 9 months away from 12-21-12… and whatever is supposed to happen, there’s no sign of it coming yet.
Not pictured: A human being
Speaking of nine month periods of time, that reminds me about something I keep wanting to talk about. The whole idea of passing a law declaring that life begins at conception instead of at birth. They want to do this, I believe, because if human life begins when the sperm collides with the egg, then abortion is murder and must be criminalized. I don’t even want to talk about how this is obviously a huge gray area because while there is nothing remotely human about a freshly-fertilized egg other than its DNA and its potential, it clearly has become a human being by the time its born. But laws don’t allow for gray area. That’s why they’re called laws. And that’s not even what I want to talk about. READ MORE »
HACK № 33: A Fool’s Purgatory
Howdy Troglodytes, welcome to the thirty-third totem of HACK. If you’ve made it this far, remember that March is just Marc with an ‘h.’
“A fool who persists in his folly will become wise. So what they do is they speed up the folly.” –Alan Watts
I Don’t Belong Here: This Is Not Enough
Francis Fukuyama wrote this pretty famous essay in 1989, The End Of History, later expanded into book form in 1992. The fall of the Berlin Wall had just happened, and with it the decades-long Cold War started to finally evaporate like the bad dream it was. Fukuyama argued that this end of the Cold War was not just any other old event in mankind’s history, but rather the end of history itself. That mankind had, with the victory of Western liberal democracy over the Evil Empire of communism, achieved the final point of human society and government. Western. Liberal. Democracy. In other words, Fukuyama looked around the world he lived in — in 1989, no less — and said “Yep, this is it! We’ve done it! It can’t get any better than this!”
And boy oh boy, I couldn’t possibly disagree more. READ MORE »
HACK № 30: Lowdown and Soul Dirty
Howdy Hierophants, welcome to the thirtieth rendition of HACK. If you’ve made it this far, quit your whining. I’ll do more than enough for the both of us.
This week it’s the night before this week’s piece is due and I decided to just give it to you all in one short 4 hour burst. I’m leaving nothing out because, guess what? I turn 34 in a few days and I can assure you that I am now too old to give a shit. About what, exactly? Exactly! I don’t give a shit! But in case you’re in a hurry here’s a handy table of contents:
Part 1: Self-Referential Whiny Stuff Written in Second Person Narrative
Part 2: A Brief Pause
Part 3: A Dirty Joke and A Stolen Line
Part 4: Gov. Chris Christie, The United States Flag, Whitney Houston
Part 5: Telepathic Communication With Marcus
Part 6: Black History Month
Part 7: Stars Are Cool
Part 8: Closing Remarks
Part 9: Week Links (Bill Hicks, Dyce the P, Chris Christie, Star Size Comparison
Here we go!
READ MORE »
Letters From God: Carnage
I’m going to apologize in advance if this post is weak or lame. I feel like garbage and am soooo not motivated. Well, here goes nothing.
“They can’t understand us! Why can’t you grasp that?!”
“I need to get out! Let me out! I don’t want to die! Please!”
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